Time For Change

I can't believe it's been a year that we have lived here. It will be a year on June 19th. I'm surprised at really how well I have learned the city and how to get around. I've had a job, made some friends and probably learned a little Spanish along the way.

Sister has finished her first year in a foreign school. I'm a little nervous about her final grades. The last few months have been a little more difficult for her. I have not registered her in the school she is attending because I honestly am not sure if it is the best place for her. The classes are a little big and she learns better in a smaller more intimate setting. She has some learning challenges. One being writing. We have found that she most likely has something called dysgraphia. Not to be confused with dyslexia, which is what I was thinking for the past few years because some of the symptoms can be similar. This is more of a motor skills problem where she cannot write well. It's like having a constant conflict firing in her brain where it takes all her energy to write even the simplest of things neatly. Her hand tires easily and becomes painful. To top it off she also has hand tremors which get worse when her hand fatigues making the writing all the more difficult.

We joked the other night that Sister's problems are from all the drugs mommy took while pregnant with her. We said it as a joke, but unfortunately it is somewhat true. Back when I was pregnant with Sister I had a severe form of what is known as morning sickness. There is a medical name for it called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Basically, I could not stop throwing up and had a hard time keeping hydrated. I averaged about 20 heaving sessions a day. I was so scared of dehydration and electrolyte imbalance I would throw up, rush out to drink some Gatorade only to turn around and throw it all up again. The doctors told me that eating and keeping it down for even short periods of time would give me nutrients. So I forced things down and just resigned myself that it would come back up. Plus, actually throwing up things is easier than the dry-heaves -right? Sometimes I had to go to the hospital for IV fluids. I had lost about 11% of my body weight and they told me just one more percent I would have to have the IV shunt put in place to give me nutrients. The thought of that made my stomach turn so I fought with everything to eat and drink. This went on for a good 20 weeks of my pregnancy and during that time I tried many kinds of anti nausea medications to try to calm things down. As a side effect the drugs gave me severe anxiety and I would be sent into almost a psychotic state. A bit traumatized, I was given an anti-anxiety medication which is not recommended during pregnancy. So I did take some drugs when I was pregnant, you see. I try not to think about it because I tried to make the best decision at the time. It really is a state of hell to be in and there are woman who don't make it. It's not common anymore, but before there was good medical care, women died from this. The sad thing is that some woman can't take it and end up terminating pregnancies they had wanted. What scared me was that abortion became a battle for me. I wanted to give my baby life so badly, but abortion became a very real struggle for me. I wanted to end my misery so bad. But God saw me through and blessed me with my beautiful little girl.

Thankfully my pregnancy with Brother was better. I was still sick with nausea but nothing like with Sister. I had heard that what happened with Sister is more common when you are pregnant with girls. With Brother I was able to keep my job and eat food normally. I still was nauseous until about 20 weeks, but I made it through.

I know I am writing a lot about pregnancy here. Maybe because I feel like strolling down memory lane. But actually....pregnancy is on my mind a lot these days because I need to announce that we are expecting another baby. Due in December. Time for change again.

This pregnancy has been easier to deal with as far as nausea than the others, but it's still hitting me. I'm heading into my 2nd trimester shortly so the chance of miscarriage is lower. But they say, the sicker the mommy the healthier the baby. Ugh! I'm planning on the nausea lasting until the half way just like with the others. It makes it easier to deal with being that I don't have a job outside the house. Needless to say, I have been pretty useless around the house the past 6 weeks or so. My cooking is anything that doesn't require too much prep. I have even insisted on eating out more even though we can't afford it, really. But that's what savings are for -right? lol. Those times of emergency. The cleaning...well. I'm not doing too good at that either. In fact, I'm not doing too good with most things. The main issues I'm having are dealing with the miserable heat, the smells in the house, and some bluesy depression from....well everything. I'm not the best pregnant person. My husband is a bit disappointed by this. I wish I could flip on the happy button, but it's not that easy. Things usually get better in the second half of the pregnancy. Adjusting here has been hard enough. Throwing pregnancy in on the mix has made things all the worse. The pregnancy wasn't planned, by the way. But God has a way of seeing things done His way. I wasn't planning on a new little person in my life, but accept the gift and look forward to a new person to love.

I'm heading back to the United States on the 17th and hopefully a break will do me good. I think I need a different perspective and some time away from the heat. Not sure I will be posting too much before the trip and then during the time I am in the states. Actually, the computer makes me nauseous. Go figure! I just thought I'd give a heads up on my posting frequency.

But I'll probably still send some updates via twitter. But who knows. I might have something that needs sharing.