Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Baby Sprout News

I can't sleep. Every night I'm up tossing and turning asking myself what I'm doing in MN. I'm getting very anxious here alone with the kids in my parents house and getting to the point of freak out. I think the early part of the pregnancy tainted everything bad and ugly. I felt just sick enough to have that "get me out of here" feeling. So now I question everything. Is it pregnancy? Is it feeling overwhelmed to try and "make it" alone? Where do I stand in my marriage? As it was asked - what is keeping me from going back to Honduras if it's not the country? Still searching.

For all those who want to know...there is joy in my heart even in the midst. God is blessing me with another baby GIRL! Oh, the name hunt has begun. Baby's tia came by the other day with a literal huge shopping bag full of pretty little girl clothes! All the pink and the pretty little dresses seemed surreal. Could I really be having a girl? It's still sinking in. It is strange to think of having a girl again. So many of my friends have had boys the past few years including my sister who has 3 boys.

I couldn't wait to find out. There is just so much other unknown in my life right now. I found out with both my other kids. I don't know if women in Honduras do or don't find out typically. I didn't know that many pregnant mommies there. Our neighbor did have a baby shower before she delivered and it was very boyish with blue balloons, etc. - so I'm guessing she knew. But I don't know what the norm is there. It seems to me that more and more people I know in the states that are pregnant are finding out. But maybe I just think that because most of the people I know have wanted to find out if they need to buy blue or pink.

I tried to scan the ultrasound photos, but something is not hooked up right with the scanner and the printer. Sorry suegra :(

Some of the pregnancy funny things that have been going on lately is that I've been really having to work at keeping hydrated. I have had what was thought could have been a teeny tiny kidney stone. I thought I had a bad bladder infection, but no infection showed up and then I had kidney pain to go along with it. We concluded that I am just not staying hydrated enough because sure enough if I'm not drinking water from morning until night I start to get kidney pain and in fact I start to have little contractions. One night it really scared me because they wouldn't go away for a few hours even after I drank a lot of water. As the docs described - the uterus is like a big muscle and if it doesn't have water it will start to contract. So I have to down the water even when I don't feel thirsty.

Another funny baby thing is that this being my third pregnancy my muscles are weaker and so don't want to hold baby up as well leaving me feeling much more of the weight of the baby. I told my mom that I feel like I'm walking around with a fish tank in my belly - that is what it feels like anyway. She said I basically was. Ha! I think this lack of muscle support also is putting more pressure on my arteries if I'm in the wrong position. I figured out that I cannot sit in deep bucket-like seats or I get light headed or if I lay on my back. The other funny thing is that if I sleep on my right side my left hand will fall asleep. huh?


Jeanne said...

Hi Mama Sprout!

You don't know me, but I found your blog on another Honduras blog...Anyway, I've enjoyed reading about your anticipation of moving to Honduras, living in Honduras, leaving Honduras and wondering whether you will return...

I have lived here for 4 years. My husband and I do mission work in Tegucigalpa.

My experience has been awesome, but I'm in a totally different place in life than you and I can understand your problems with living and raising children here.

I just want you to know that I am praying for you and your family, that God will show you a way that all of you can be together in the best of circumstances...whatever those are.

In the meantime, God bless you and congratulations on the new baby girl!!!

Vicki said...

It's good to hear an update on you and the baby. I follow your blog often. I'm one of your mom email friends. I'm glad to hear you are still in the States. I can't imagine having a grandchild born in another country. It's bad enough that my daughter and grandkids live 3 hours away. Also, can you imagine how hard it would to stay hydrated in Honduras with all that heat?

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. I hope Brother and Sister Sprout are doing ok too. Back to school should be starting soon. My grandkids started Monday.

Ginger said...

I have been following your blog for a while now and I really enjoy it. I'm sorry your having such a hard decision as to what your future will hold (honduras or USA) I myself moved to Honduras to be with my Husband when our son was only six months old. I left everything to be with him and outlasted me by A LOT! Of course you all seemed to be a lot better off financially than we were :/ But I'm sure you will make the right decision the country really isnt that bad it just takes some real getting used many years getting used to. I can tell you really love you husband and i believe all will turn out well for you all! You are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Hey Sprout,

My hope is that you're able to focus more on the birth of your new daughter rather than Honduras, etc. There will be time for that later.

It will work out, you'll see. You're stronger than you think.

Best always,


krystle pena said...

hi i have been reading your blog since i found your blog. and also my husband is form honduras a twon by the name santa ana a town about 25 to 35 min. form la cieba it off the road to tela and i when there in may and to my 2 kids and my sister inlaws kid ages 1-4 i had a bad exprince in sps airport they had to come and pick us put cause the airplain never arived and i left the airport at around 1:30 in the moring my kids feel asleep in the chairs ect. it was very bad and then i saw 2 dead boby on the side of the road i was sooo scared. and now it makes me more scared to apply for his papers cause i dont know if he will get deported and i could not move there the heat the water NO! i aint having it

and congrats on the girl!

Sara said...

FINALLY!!!!!!! A GIRL!!!!!!!!!! A GIRL TO BUY GIRL THINGS FOR! (although, clearly with all the stuff Jo brought by, you could probably never wash and the baby would be clothed ;) haha)
I have not known anyone to have a girl in almost 3 or 4 years. Crazy! Congrats, and keep your chin up. :)

chicadedios25 said...

Awww...a sister for sister sprout to play with. How exciting. You are still in my thoughts and prayers. I know you love Papa Sprout....I know things will work out how they are supposed to. There is always a silver lining behind every cloud.

Theresa in Mèrida said...

I think you are under a lot of stress, and the tendency when stressed is to want to make a decision, any decision. I think if you can hold off on making any decision for now. Also remember it's okay to change your mind, whether you stay or go.
When I lived in Las Vegas, I cried everyday, I hated it so much. When I returned to California (after living in some other states) it was so wonderful, I thought that I would never leave again.
Now, I am in Mexico and happy as can be.
I was sad to read how difficult all this is for you. I hope you find some peace of mind. Do the AA thing (it's good advice regardless of whether you drink or not), do what you can do and give the rest to god to handle(or your higher power or the universe). Read the Serenity Prayer, it is a big help to me in times of crisis. Just live one day at a time, if that is too much then one hour, or even minutes.

Karine and Tom said...

Congrats on the little girl! Have fun with all the cute little dresses and swimsuits! I do have a little tip for you- we tried scanning our ultrasound pics, and the scanner didn't do as good of a job as just taking a picture with our camera. It was much easier and ended up clearer. Perhaps this will work for you... In the meantime, enjoy a big glass of water for you and the little miss sprout!

Karine and Tom said...

Congrats on the little girl! Have fun with all the cute little dresses and swimsuits! I do have a little tip for you- we tried scanning our ultrasound pics, and the scanner didn't do as good of a job as just taking a picture with our camera. It was much easier and ended up clearer. Perhaps this will work for you... In the meantime, enjoy a big glass of water for you and the little miss sprout!

crystal said...

I have been following your blog for a few months now, I am trying to make the same decision on whether to go to Honduras. I am scared. My husband is in a city outside of San Pedro, called Choloma.
I also sent you an email to your gmail address. Congrats on your girl!! I am having a boy!